


Someone Special

by Annie46fic



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angsty Schmoop, Hurt Jared Padalecki, Learning Disabilities, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-16
Updated: 2013-01-16
Packaged: 2017-11-25 16:30:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/640872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annie46fic/pseuds/Annie46fic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared’s sister and brother are bright and clever but somehow Jared has been left behind.  His momma thinks he is special and won’t let him grow up – but he is a thirty-year-old man who just wants to live his own life and, more importantly, meet someone to love him, someone he can love.  Jensen Ackles is a teacher who is hiding his sexuality, whose previous relationships have been quick and shallow - based on looks rather than personality.  Can these two men really make things work?  Or will family and responsibility always come between them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Someone Special

**Author's Note:**

> Written for zomzoms on LJ who won me in the FandomAid auction on LJ, to raise funds after superstorm Sandy.

Jared watched as his sister pulled up her socks and smoothed down her school skirt.

His momma was fussing round her, making sure she had her bag and her lunchbox, panicking every time she couldn’t find something. From his lofty position at the head of the breakfast table, Jared’s dad read his paper pretending not to take any interest in the proceedings. When his momma cursed for – what seemed like – the tenth time his dad lowered the paper and winked slowly so only Jared could see it.

Jared smiled back at his dad feeling special. He liked being part of this important day and he wished he could do more. He had offered to walk his sister to school and Megan had wanted him to do it but his momma had sucked her teeth and clicked her tongue, her eyes bright and concerned, her head shaking before she had even really considered it. Jared felt sad sometimes when he saw his momma’s face like that, knew it was him that had made her so unsure, so nervous. He didn’t mean it but there was nothing he could do about it, it wasn’t his fault he was different, not his fault he was _special_ in all ways that were wrong.

“Mom!” Megan’s voice was loud and insistent. “I have everything I need now, please, please let me go.”

“Your dad will drive you.” His momma flapped her arms and wiped her hands on her apron. “Won’t do for you to be late.”

Megan sighed; she glanced over at Jared and smiled. Jared smiled back, hope blossoming in his chest, already half out of his seat.

“Jared can walk me,” Megan said, softly, “it isn’t far.”

“Now Meggie.” His momma flushed. “I don’t think . . . .”

“Come on Sherri, sweetheart.” Jared’s dad put down his paper. “It is ten minutes down the block and Jared is a grown man. The pair of them will be safe enough.”

“Please, mom.” Megan put on her pleading face, her teeth biting into her lower lip, eyes bright. “Please.”

“I suppose.” 

Jared was out of his chair before his momma could change her mind, he was already reaching for his coat when Megan came up behind him and hugged him, her head only coming up to his shoulder blades.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

****

Jared had an older brother, Jeff, who was a doctor. He was really clever and had been to college and gotten lots and lots of certificates. Megan was a lot younger than him and she was as bright as a button too. She was going to a very expensive school where she wore a smart uniform and she was top of the class in every subject. 

Jared didn’t know what had happened, didn’t know why he wasn’t clever or bright, didn’t understand why his mind didn’t work in the same way as other people. He was thirty years old and trapped at home without much hope of ever leaving. He had been bullied at school, unable to read – the letters just a mishmash mess, jumbled up on the page – unable to write, not even his name. His momma had taken him out and sent him to an expensive school too, but this school wasn’t like Megan’s, this school was for boys and girls like him. _Different_ , his momma had said, _just different_. Jared didn’t like being different, didn’t like the fact he had grown tall and wiry, didn’t like the fact that people stared at him when he went out, or smiled at his momma with sympathy in their eyes. Jared didn’t want their sympathy, he just wanted to be normal, just normal but he guessed that was just too much to ask.

****

Megan’s friends walked with them to the school gates. They had all known Megan since she was in Kindergarten and they all knew and liked Jared. They were some of the people who were kind to him, laughing with him and treating him as one of them. He walked tall when he was with them, head high, mouth curved into a smile. Usually he would hunch over, hide his height, but today he was proud and happy, glad to be taking his brilliant little sister to her new school.

****

Jensen Ackles stood by the school gates. It was the start of a new semester and he was ready. He had taught at this establishment for over ten years and he was used to things now. He knew he should probably look for another job, seek promotion or something but he was content with his lot and he loved teaching English, loved seeing the joy in his pupil’s eyes when they read a particularly interesting book, enjoyed long discussions in the classroom about what was good and what was bad, enthused by the debate.

He was also used to fourteen year old girls falling _in love_ with him. When he had been a student teacher he had been embarrassed and not quite sure how to handle it but now he was older and a hell of a lot wiser he could cope, being kind and gentle to those girls who declared their _affection_ and, hopefully, pointing them in the direction of more suitable _suitors_.

Jensen was thirty-four years old and gay; he hadn’t actually told anyone that fact and kept his personal life tight under wraps. This was an exclusive school in a very expensive area and he knew how lucky he was to have a job here. He did have relationships but he was discreet and he was certain no one knew about him.

He looked up to see a group of young girls sauntering up to the gates. For a moment, he blinked, wondering if he was actually seeing things but when he looked, again he was certain that he wasn’t and he took in a deep breath, feasting his eyes in wonder.

In the center of the group was one of the tallest men Jensen had ever seen. He stood a good six and a half feet tall and was easy to spot. His shoulders were broad beneath the blue denim jacket that he wore and his chest muscles flexed under the tight black tee shirt that clung to him. He had endlessly long legs and arms, big hands and feet and yet his face was that of an ancient God come to life, high chiseled cheekbones, a soft, wide mouth and long wavy chestnut hair that curled on his collar. Stormy eyes that could have been anything from green to blue to brown slanted under long lashes and he had dimples – he had dimples. Jensen gulped, swallowed and licked his lips. This was not the start to the new semester that he was expecting but he was happy enough to go with the flow and to find out who this Adonis actually was.

“Good morning ladies.” Jensen realized he was standing upright forcing himself to look the girls in the eye rather than the guy they were with. “I’m guessing you are new students here, right?”

“Yes.” One of the girls grinned at him with some interest and the others giggled behind their hands, a move that Jensen was fairly used to by now. “My name’s Megan Padalecki.”

“Good to meet you Miss Padalecki.” Jensen held out his hand and Megan shook it with some enthusiasm. “My name is Mr Ackles and I will be teaching you all English.” He gave Megan’s hand a squeeze and allowed himself to look at the Adonis who was staring at him with puzzled eyes. Jensen gave him a tiny smile for good measure and was delighted when that smile was returned big and bright.

“This is my brother Jared.” Megan appeared to have noticed the secret smiles and she looked, suddenly, anxious.

“Nice to meet you Jared – very kind of you to walk your sister to school.” Jensen held out his hand again and Jared took it, enveloping it in his giant paw.

“Nice to meet you too Mr Ackles,” Jared said, voice low and slurry, manner easy. He was still smiling; wide and dimpled and Jensen felt his own stomach clench trying very hard to stay on the good side of professional. “My momma didn’t want me to walk Megan today but I did.” Jared added suddenly and there was something about that statement that made Jensen feel a little uneasy, something about Jared’s expression that gave him cause to think.

 

Jensen let Jared’s hand go and stepped back so that the girls could get through the gates. It was coming up to 9am and he had to get to his class. Jared was watching his sister with undisguised fondness and he gave her a little wave as she turned to smile at him again.

“See you later bro’,” she said as she vanished through the gates and Jensen saw the sudden sadness in Jared’s stormy eyes causing him to wonder – again – just what the deal was.

****

First day and it was busy and hectic and Jensen had never been so relieved when lunchtime came and he was able to share a sandwich with Misha. The two of them slumped in the teacher’s dining area eating silently.

“How can I be so tired already?” Misha was the football coach and he also taught other sports. “All the fourteen year olds are fitter than me – that shouldn’t be the case.”

“You’ll survive.” Jensen put down the remnants of his sandwich. “They seem okay though – the new intake.”

“Yeah, not much trouble.” Misha smiled, wearily. “Saw you talking to Megan Padalecki’s brother this morning.”

“You know him?” Jensen kept his interest tamped down. Even though Misha was a good friend he knew nothing about Jensen’s preference for men and he wasn’t about to give that away now. “He seems – um – nice.”

“Jared’s a great guy.” Misha’s blue eyes were soft. “Despite all his problems.”

Jensen’s heart stuttered a little and he took a large swallow of his milk.

“Problems?”

“Yeah, h-he wasn’t born quite right, you know. Didn’t stay at _normal_ school because he couldn’t read or write. They diagnosed him with dyslexia but that was just the tip of the iceberg. Such a shame – his brother is a genius and his sister as bright as a fucking button but poor Jared. I feel sorry for him. His mom keeps him under wraps, treats him like a five year old. He hasn’t ever worked, not as far as I am aware, but he was fucking brilliant at basketball – being 6ft 5 inches helps you know. I wanted him for the team but his mom wouldn’t let him play.” Misha shrugged. “Could still use him to be honest – maybe you can talk to Megan.”

Jensen was silent for a long time. He couldn’t think of a single thing to say reflecting on the unfairness of life, his mind unable to stop thinking about Jared Padalecki, at his obvious attractiveness, his soft smile and bright eyes. Jensen wasn’t shallow – not really – but Jared had been one of the best-looking guys he had seen in a very long while and he had certainly been more than a little interested.

“You want me to persuade Megan to speak to her mom about her brother playing for the team?” Jensen shook his head, pretending irritation. “I guess I could – the team certainly could use some new blood.”

“Present company excepted the team sucks.” Misha shook his head. “We need someone like Jared. He is a great guy, enthusiastic, willing. I get that his mom is concerned but the guy is 30 years old, Jen. He isn’t some kid.”

“Okay,” Jensen wasn’t sure if he was doing the right thing. He couldn’t tell Misha that though, couldn’t explain the conflicting emotions that were going through his head. His beautiful Adonis so perfect and yet so flawed. He sighed and nodded. “okay,” he said again, “I’ll do what I can.”

****

 

Jared poked at his dinner with his fork. He wasn’t all that hungry and he felt tight inside, restless and bored.

It had been raining all day and his momma wouldn’t let him out, not even to the shop for a comic. He wished his momma would trust him more because it made him feel sad that she didn’t. Megan was sitting opposite him and eating up a storm. She was talking about her new school and about Mr Ackles in particular. Jared had met Mr Ackles on the first day he had gone with Megan and her friends, he remembered Mr Ackles clearly, tall and broad with blond hair and the greenest eyes he had ever seen. Mr Ackles had shaken his hand and smiled at him, looked at him like he was important, like he mattered. Jared had liked Mr Ackles at once, liked his smile and his eyes and he knew that Megan liked him too.

“Mr Ackles wanted to know if you would try out for the basketball team.” Megan swallowed her burger and looked at Jared with a grin. “He asked specially.”

Jared’s heart thundered and he felt a little surge of hope that was immediately trampled down by his momma’s expression. He put his fork down and turned a pleading glance towards his dad, he wanted to do this, he had wanted to do it the first time Mr Collins had asked but his momma had said, _‘No, no, no.’_.

“Megan you know your brother can’t,” his momma had already begun to speak but his dad put his hand up slowly, shaking his head.

“Sherri, let the boy try out - from what Megan has said this _Mr Ackles_ seems responsible enough and it has to be said that Jared is good at basketball. Hell, he must be bored out of his wits stuck here all day.”

“Gerry.” His momma had pursed her lips tight and Jared knew that meant trouble. He chewed on his own lower lip, heart beating double time. He could see Megan looking hopefully over at his dad too and he prayed his momma would listen to reason for once.

“I’ll take him myself if that will make you feel better.” Jared’s dad gave him a wink. “I have a few days’ vacation and it will be nice to spend it with my son.” He was smiling now and Jared was almost bursting with excitement. “Megan you tell Mr Ackles, Jared would be only too happy to try out.”

“Thanks dad.” Jared couldn’t hold back the pleasure he was feeling, leaning forward clumsily and almost knocking over his glass of water. He was almost bursting with excitement and he couldn’t wait for the tryouts, couldn’t wait to see Mr Ackles again, see if the warm smile he remembered really was as good as he thought.

His momma tutted and turned back to serving dessert and Jared couldn’t stop himself from grinning as he realized that, at last, he had something to look forward to.

****

Jensen was stretching out tight muscles when the Padalecki’s walked into the hall. Misha went over to them almost immediately, beaming, shaking hands with a small, balding man who could only be Megan’s father. Jensen noticed his Adonis - Jared – straight the way. Today, Jared was wearing a tight white tee shirt and baggy shorts, his big feet encased in smart and, obviously new, trainers. Bright eyes met his across the hall and that shy dimpled smile made its appearance. Jensen couldn’t stop himself from smiling back and he raised his hand in a little wave, smiling inwardly as he saw the pink flush that spread across Jared’s cheekbones.

“Mr Ackles.” The man who was both Megan’s and Jared’s dad came over to him. “Nice to meet you, here is Jared as promised. He is really keen to try out.”

“Call me Jensen.” Jensen shook the older man’s hand. “We are very keen to have Jared try out,” he added.

“My momma finally let me,” Jared spoke softly. “Megan said you were really nice.”

“I am.” Jensen couldn’t stop the grin that threatened to spread across his face. Jared’s statement was simple and childlike but that didn’t matter to Jensen because there was still something about Jared that made him feel oddly warm inside. “I’m very nice.”

“Enough of this.” Misha shook his head. “We are all very nice but nice isn’t winning us any games and we need to start winning.”

“I’m sure Jared will help us,” Jensen said and he was rewarded by another huge smile.

“I’m good at basketball.” Jared gestured to the court. “I’m tall and I can score baskets.”

“I bet.” Misha was virtually rubbing his hands. “Well, Jensen – let’s get this show on the road.”

Jensen nodded; he opened a bag and got several balls out.

“I’ve asked a couple of team members to give us a hand,” he said. “So how about me and Jared take on you and one of the others. Losers buy the beer.”

“I’m not allowed beer.” Jared tugged at Jensen’s arm, reminding Jensen that his Adonis wasn’t quite _right_.

“I’m sure your dad will let you have one,” Jensen said catching Mr Padalecki’s eye and getting a nod in return.

“You haven’t won yet,” Misha said, eyes narrowing.

“Yeah but we will,” Jensen laughed and slapped Jared on the back. “We will.”

****

Jared was very, very good at basketball. They won easily and Misha was soon talking to Jared (and his dad) about a place on the team. Jensen sat at the side of the court watching negotiations. Jared was sweating and flushed but beaming widely and Jensen felt a sudden fondness for his – hopefully – new teammate, his own personal Adonis.

They had won so easily that the local bar was the obvious next stop. Mr Padalecki (call me Gerry) insisted on buying the first round and Jensen found himself squashed next to Jared in a booth. Jared looked excited, almost unable to keep still, wriggling about so much that Jensen had to put a hand on his arm to restrain him.

“Dad is buying me a beer.” Jared’s expression was open as he turned to Jensen, his eyes flicking to the hand on his arm and back up to where Jensen was sitting. “I’m thirty and I’ve never had beer.”

“Now is as good a time as ever to start.” Jensen gave his arm a quick squeeze and then moved his hand. He felt a little guilty when he saw Jared’s face fall but he knew he shouldn’t. Jared was a very attractive man but, now he knew the situation, Jensen wasn’t sure he should even _go there_. He wasn’t shallow and there was more to a relationship than a pretty face and an awesome body. However Jared was different – however hard Jensen tried to ignore it – Jared was _special_ and Jensen wasn’t even sure he was capable of having any sort of relationship even though his stupid heart was telling him to ask Jared for a date, his more sensible head was telling him not to.

The problem was, now Jared was on the team, Jensen was seeing a lot more of him. The season started in a couple of weeks and Misha was over the moon to have such a great player on his side. Jared was fit, keen, and absolutely full of enthusiasm. The other team members had, obviously, been told about Jared and they all treated him as if he were normal, inviting him along for after match pizza and generally teasing him about his height and his muscles. Jared took everything in his stride, blossoming under so much attention, his shyness beginning to fade a little, confidence and obvious happiness taking its place.

“Jared never stops talking about you.” 

Megan Padalecki was in his office picking up her homework. The essay in front of him was an ‘A*’ and he hadn’t had a lot to say about it apart from to tell her it was excellent. After a few minutes of awkward silence, she had come out with this new revelation and he had to swallow hard, brain working frantically as he tried to think of the right thing to say.

“Really?”

And that was the best he could come up with, a teacher of English literature, all of his words deserting him in that one moment.

“He thinks you are cool.” Megan fiddled with the corner of her papers. “He really enjoys playing basketball, I’m so glad you suggested it.”

“Well it was Misha – um Mr Collins – that actually suggested it but I’m glad he’s happy. We are sure eager to have him on the team.” He smiled. “We might actually win something this year.”

“Mr Ackles . . . ,” Megan’s voice was soft, almost pleading. “My momma – well my momma is desperately over protective of Jared and while she might have some reasons to be it is really nice to see him get given a little freedom. Thing is she – she is going to ask you and Mr Collins to come over for dinner so that she can _look you over_ for herself. I-I . . . please say yes, Mr Ackles. It would mean so much to me and to Jared if you said yes.”

Jensen felt his insides twist and he wondered if fate was truly fucking with him. He had tried to put a distance between him and Jared, treating the younger man no different to the other members of the team, not wanting to show him any favoritism. He was still terribly confused about his feelings and he didn’t want to have to confront them anytime now. He had had a lot of relationships and all of them had failed because he had never really gotten too close to anyone before, too scared of commitment, too scared of being found out. Hell he wasn’t even sure if Jared were capable of having anything close to a normal relationship – with a man or a woman – and he didn’t want to rock any boats. 

“Of course I’ll come,” he heard himself saying, “and Mr Collins too I’m sure.”

“Thank you.” Megan’s face lit up. “Thank you so much – you have no idea.” Her statement trailed off and she smiled at him, warm and trusting. “You know,” she said, with a wisdom that was far beyond that of a fourteen year old. “I think my brother is a better judge of character than I thought.” She stared at Jensen, head to one side. “He is a real nice guy, Mr Ackles. All he needs is just one person to give him a chance.”

Jensen opened his mouth to say something, anything but his voice caught and he swallowed hard, his eyes meeting Megan’s and seeing the knowledge there.

“I’ll see you soon Miss Padalecki,” was all he could manage and she grinned at him as she turned tail.

“Sooner than you think Mr Ackles,” she said.

****

Jared brushed his hair and smoothed down his shirt. He could feel his heart beating hard against the flat of his hand and he took in a deep breath and then another as he fought down excitement.

Mr Ackles was coming for dinner.

Jared couldn’t believe his momma had asked and he couldn’t actually believe that Mr Ackles had said _yes_. He really liked Mr Ackles – they made a good team when they played together and – when he had tried out – they had beaten the other players easily. He knew that Mr Ackles was proud of him and that Mr Collins thought he was the answer to all their problems. Jared had never felt so much a part of anything before and he was so happy it was hard for him to keep still.

It wasn’t just the basketball though; there was something about Mr Ackles - _Jensen – call me Jensen_ that made him feel almost weak at the knees every time they were together. Maybe it was his bright green eyes or his shy smile, maybe it was his freckles or the way his jeans frayed around his ankles. Jared didn’t know or understand but he wanted to, wanted to explore these odd feelings, the tightness in his chest, the pounding of his heart, the dryness of his mouth. In all of his thirty years, he had never felt this way about anyone and he was both eager and scared in equal measures. He knew he would never have the courage to tell Jensen how he felt and he also knew if his momma even suspected anything she would forbid him to go to basketball anymore and that – that would break his heart.

Mr Collins and Jensen arrived promptly at seven. Mr Collins had bought momma flowers and Jensen had handed over an expensive bottle of wine to his father. Jared hung back with Megan, hoping his face wasn’t too flushed, trying to look calm, relaxed, trying to be natural and normal about things. Megan was watching him out of the corner of her eye and he swallowed hard as he realized she was smiling at him, her smile knowing.

“You mustn’t tell momma,” he hissed, clutching at her shoulders with shaking hands. “Or Mr Ackles – Jensen – you mustn’t.”

“Tell them what?” Megan’s smile grew wider and she leaned forward and kissed him on the nose, her mouth warm. “Jared, I just want you to be happy and you are happy aren’t you?”

He returned her smile and rubbed his hand across his clenching tummy, his heart beating ever faster as Jensen walked over to them, his own grin warm.

“Hey you two, what are you up to?” Jensen gave Megan’s hand a little pat and he put his arm around Jared’s shoulder, reaching up a little so he could hug him.

“Just waiting for you,” Jared blurted out and Megan beamed, as she made eye contact with Jared, her lid lowering in a quick wink.

“Well here I am,” said Jensen and he gave Jared another quick hug before letting go and turning towards the table. “Megan says your momma is a good cook and I’m hungry.”

“Me too.” Jared was almost bouncing with ill-contained energy. “Do you want to sit down -you – um – you can sit next to me at the table.”

“I’d like that.” Jensen nodded and he looked relaxed, content and Jared felt his whole body shudder, his blood thrumming through his veins hot and eager. “I’d really like that Jared.”

And beside them, Megan laughed delightedly and led them to the dining room chuckling all the way.

****

Jensen was listening to Jared’s dad tell a story about work. He had no idea what Gerald Padalecki was actually saying because he was too busy looking at Jared, watching Jared eat, seeing that dimpled smile aimed firmly at him and wondering what the hell he was going to do about – what was obviously – a mutual attraction.

Usually, at this point, he would ask Jared out on a date but, in this particular situation, he didn’t quite know how to go about it. He shot a brief glance at Mrs Padalecki and found himself looking into curious but sharp hazel eyes, eyes that were just like her sons and eyes that were so easy to read. Jensen bit his lip and attempted a smile and Mrs Padalecki narrowed her eyes at him and made no effort to smile back. Jensen sighed – despite everything – he was a good guy and he just wanted what was best for Jared, for them both really. Jensen wasn’t exactly _out and proud_ so he couldn’t really ask Jared’s mom’s permission to take him out but he couldn’t let this opportunity pass him by either. He sighed and pushed what was left of his meal around his plate, there must be something he could do – something he could say.

“Mrs Padalecki,” Misha spoke up suddenly and unexpectedly, all eyes suddenly on him. “As you know the season starts in another week and well, at this time of year I usually take the team on a weekend away. It’s – um – nothing much just a few of us guys hanging out, camping, eating under the stars and team building. I would love it if Jared could come.”

Jensen’s eyes went wide; in all his years with the team he had never known them to go on a _camping trip out_. Usually it was just a few beers a couple of nights before the game and this sudden trip was news to Jensen. He wondered what Misha was up to and then, with a sudden clench of his gut, he realized that his best friend had seen something, something Jensen had been hiding for years and he swallowed, mouth dry as he gazed, first at Misha and then at Mrs Padalecki wondering what was going to happen next.

“Momma!” Jared’s eyes were wide, excited. “Can I? Please – I – please.”

Jensen realized he was holding his breath and he stared at the woman opposite him, saw her tight mouth, her hooded eyes. It was obvious already what the answer was going to be and he felt his heart sink, saw the sudden comprehension dawn on Jared’s face and his own heart almost broke as Jared’s face fell, eyes bright.

“Sherri,” Gerald interrupted; his face was flushed with the wine Jensen had given him. “We’ve talked about this, haven’t we? Just let the boy go. It is a camping trip and he is thirty years old, what possible harm can it do?”

There was a silence and Jensen swore you could hear a pin drop. Jared turned to look at his dad and then he glanced at Jensen, the open affection in his eyes easy to see, the desperate pleading easy to read.

“Please Mrs Padalecki,” Jensen’s voice sounded hoarse to his own ears. “We’d love to have Jared with us – he is one of the most important members of the team.”

For a moment the whole room was suspended it breathless silence and then Sherri Padalecki un-pursed her lips and, for the first time since Jensen had walked through the door, smiled at them all.

“If it means that much to you,” she began and before she could finish Jared was on his feet and hugging her so tight she could barely move.

“Thank you – thank you – thank you!” Jared had never looked so happy and, for a moment, Jensen felt something stir inside of him that was both foolish and impossible.

He thought it might be - but no, he refused to go there. He wasn’t ready or prepared but he was very, very pleased and, like Jared, he couldn’t stop smiling.

****

“What was all that about?” Jensen tapped on the dashboard with his fingertips, he felt nervous and exposed, wondering how the hell he got here. “We don’t ever take the team camping – EVER!”

“He likes you Jensen and you like him. It’s kinda obvious, specially on his side but you can be pretty transparent.”

“You know then?” He asked, cautiously and Misha shot him a look, kind and exasperated.

“I guessed and don’t worry I’m not about to tell anyone, okay? You haven’t ever flaunted it and that’s fine but it’s crystal clear how you feel about Jared.”

“I liked him from the moment I saw him,” Jensen swallowed, his eyes still on the road. “But it is really complicated Misha and you know it. I’m not sure if he is capable of any sort of relationship.”

“He’s naïve and innocent and he has been wrapped in cotton wool but he isn’t stupid and he isn’t a fool.” Misha smiled. “He has blossomed these past few weeks with the team. No one is saying you should get intimate but you could be good for each other.”

“His momma is going to kill me,” Jensen breathed out, relieved that at least someone knew his secret now.

 

“I don’t think so,” Misha laughed and put his foot down. “She isn’t going to find out from me or him if my instinct is right. He isn’t going to be telling her anything anytime soon.”

“Okay.” Jensen shook his head. “Let’s see how it goes, shall we?”

“Yeah.” Misha took one hand off the wheel to pat his hand. 

****

The campsite was beautiful.

Right in the middle of the woods with a large lake surrounding it, wooden lodges scattered amongst the trees, a cookhouse with a large selection of food, a barbeque and some sports equipment. 

 

Even the weather seemed to be on their side; bright sunshine and clear blue skies. Jensen wore just a tee shirt and board shorts, the other guys dressed in similar attire. Jared looked tall and tanned and more like an Adonis than ever and Jensen had to stop his mouth from watering as he watched him drag his sleeping bag into one of the lodges, choosing a wooden bed by the door, pressing his nose against the window, almost bursting with excitement.

They were alone, Misha had taken the other guys up into the mountains for a run so that they could _talk it out_. Jensen knew this was a great opportunity but he didn’t even know how to start. Jared was so happy, so ecstatic to be free that Jensen didn’t want to ruin anything.

“This is the first time my momma has let me come away alone.” Jared sat down on the bed, his chin in his hands. “I can’t actually believe it.”

“What do you usually do?” Jensen sat down beside Jared. “In the day I mean?”

“I help momma around the house, watch TV or DVD’s. I go shopping with momma sometimes.” Jared shrugged. “I’d like a dog, but momma doesn’t think I’d be able to take care of one,” he sighed and turned to Jensen, eyes big and bright. “I know I’m different but I’m not totally stupid. I could look after a dog, I’d love to work at a pound or a shelter but momma won’t let me.”

“Moms can be overprotective.” Jensen risked putting a hand on Jared’s knee. The younger man turned his head to look at him, eyes wide with something Jensen couldn’t put a name to. “Mine still calls me most days to see if I am wearing a scarf if it’s cold or if I’m eating all the right things.”

“Yeah, but you – you teach – you look after bright kids like Meggie . . . but me – I can’t even have a dog.”

“Jared.”

“I really love this.” Jared spread out his arm. “This camp – this team – it makes me feel better, _normal_. I want to do things like other people, I want to learn to read and to write. They tried to teach me in school but they didn’t have time, there were so many kids and they just didn’t care not really. They took momma’s money and blamed it all on me – said I didn’t try but I did. I did, Jensen.”

“I know you would have.” Jensen squeezed Jared’s knee tight and Jared sort of leaned into him, large shaggy head resting intimately on his shoulder. Jensen felt his whole body shudder at the contact and he lifted his hand so that he could tangle it through Jared’s shaggy hair. “You are a great guy Jared. You’ve made the team better, plus you’ve made us all feel confident about this new season and we wouldn’t be without you.”

“Thank you.” Jared’s lips were trembling. “I-I really like you Jensen,” he whispered. “I think you are beautiful.”

“Jared.” His heart almost stuttered to a halt, his mouth as dry as dust. He put his arm around Jared and pulled him closer. “This is . . . .”

“Don’t say _wrong_ ,” Jared burst out. “I’m NOT stupid, I told you that. I know about these things, I’ve watched TV and talked to Jeff about it. I-I always wanted someone to love me.”

Jensen wondered if he should pull back; it was all going so fast and it scared him, the breath coming hard in his throat as he put his hands on Jared’s flushed cheeks and pulled him closer still. He wanted to kiss Jared but he still wasn’t sure. He didn’t know what Jared had learned from TV or from his brother but he was pretty convinced it wasn’t the joys of gay sex. This was Jensen’s responsibility he had to take it slow and easy. He smiled and put his lips against Jared’s, moving them gently, feeling Jared’s mouth open to him, wide and welcoming, Jared’s own hands gripping his biceps tight and clumsy, Jared’s tongue wrapping around his own, the two of them kissing and kissing without restraint.

It was good, it was better than Jensen could have hoped for, it was a start, a very cautious start but a start, and he wasn’t going to let anything spoil this moment.

****

Jared didn’t tell anyone about the kissing; he knew that Jensen didn’t want him to tell, knew that it had to be a secret. He was happy to keep quiet because he knew his momma would be so angry if she found out and he didn’t want anything to spoil this – this feeling.

He wasn’t stupid; he knew what kissing was and what it could lead to. He knew about girls and he knew the facts of life. Jeff had told him everything, Jeff had explained patiently whilst he listened, his head on one side, making little mental notes. He knew it was mostly men and women who felt like that, who got married and made babies but he also knew that a woman could love another woman, a man could love another man. He sighed, his eyes flicking over to where Jensen was fishing in the vast lake, yeah it was so easy to love another man – specially when that man was Jensen.

Jared wasn’t stupid; he knew what to do, knew what his body liked. He had shower after shower at home, learning how to touch his body to make it feel good, locking the bathroom door so that he could put his hand on himself and bring himself pleasure. He knew his momma thought he was innocent and – as far as physical contact with others went he was, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want it, didn’t long for it. Like most other people he just wanted someone to love him, just wanted someone to hold him, to be intimate with. He sighed and wriggled. When he had kissed Jensen he had wanted to put his hand on himself, he had gotten hard, felt that pleasurable ache right through to his bones. He hoped, secretly, that Jensen wanted him as much but he didn’t know if he did. Jensen was smart, handsome and funny, he could have anyone he wanted and, that said, why would he want Jared.

****

Jensen enjoyed the camp much more than he possibly should have. The weather was fantastic, the lake full of fish, the cabins comfortable and the food plentiful. Most of all he enjoyed the time he spent with Jared and he _almost_ threw caution to the wind, letting his guard down and becoming closer to the younger man.

Jared was different sure but he wasn’t stupid. He was a little slow on the uptake and he struggled to read even the simplest of things but he was fit and healthy and he loved to laugh, loved to spend time with others, enjoying the freedom and being allowed to do whatever he liked. 

Jensen also discovered that Jared was a fantastic athlete. He could run for miles without breaking into much of a sweat and he could swim across the lake with no problem. In the afternoon they would get out a basketball and play and Jensen could see the ill-concealed delight on Misha’s face as Jared scored basket after basket, the other members of the team slightly envious but obviously pleased with their new teammate. They accepted Jared for what he was and it was wonderful to see him blossom and grow, turning from a shy and awkward man into someone more confident, happier and more at home in his own skin.

Jensen tried to spend some time alone with Jared; they kissed, cuddled, and talked a lot but they didn’t go any further and Jensen could almost taste Jared’s impatience. He knew he was doing the right thing though, didn’t want to rush things. Deep down he knew it was because HE was unsure, not Jared. He’d never really had a serious relationship and he was certain that Jared hadn’t. Jensen had never really thought he would be in this position. He had been shallow in the past, had seen Jared’s obvious physical attraction and hadn’t thought beyond casual but awesomely hot sex. Now though he was having to face the fact that he was falling for Jared, falling hard and fast and maybe, just maybe this wasn’t ideal but he had to be certain that it was what they both wanted.

Misha and the others were out walking; it was their last day and, tomorrow, they would be going home. Jensen lay on the camp bed with Jared snuggled into his arms. They weren’t talking, no need for words really, just the two of them, both lost in their own thoughts.

It was Jared who initiated the first move, rolling onto his side and pressing his lips against Jensen’s. His tongue came out and licked at Jensen’s mouth, forcing it open. The kiss caught and held and Jared tipped Jensen onto his back, slotting himself between the older man’s legs, his hardness obvious against Jensen’s jeans. 

“Jared . . . .” 

Jensen could just about form a coherent thought; he could feel Jared rubbing hard and rough against him, feel Jared’s mouth forcefully on his own, the kiss becoming desperate, big hands creeping down across Jensen’s stomach and fingers wriggling into the waistband of his jeans. Jensen groaned, palms upwards to push Jared away but Jared wasn’t budging, his need obvious, his breath coming in desperate pants as he ran his fingers over Jensen’s skin.

“Please,” he begged. “Please, Jensen.”

Jensen moved gently, rolling them so Jared was on his back and Jensen was above him. He undid Jared’s jeans and rubbed his hand across damp boxers. Jared hissed and bucked, his hands clutching Jensen’s shoulders, fingers digging in hard. Jensen wasn’t sure even now, worried about consent, about how Jared actually felt. Jared must have read his mind because he shook his head, face flushed, eyes bright.

“I want you too,” he whispered, his own hand coming to cover Jensen’s own. “I’m not a child, Jensen. I know what I want and I want you.”

Jensen was so turned on he couldn’t think straight but, somewhere, in the back off his mind, his conscience was telling him no. He wanted to so badly and it was clear that Jared wanted him that Jared needed him but this – this was wrong, it had to be wrong. Jensen was the responsible one here, he had to be the bigger man, had to stop this before it went too far.

“I can’t,” he said, softly, rolling away again, leaving Jared staring at him, lost and bereft.

“No!” Jared got to his feet, shaking hands doing up his fly, face pale, cheeks pink, tears already smearing down his cheeks. “I thought . . . I thought you were different, I thought you saw me as a _normal_ person, as someone you could love. I love you Jensen, I love you and you let me down. You are just like all the rest! You just see simple, stupid, Jared.” He hiccuped a sob. “I’ll never be normal, always special.” He pulled away from Jensen’s grasping hand. “Leave me alone,” he hissed. “Leave me alone.”

Jensen shoved off the bed and went after Jared. The taller man was already out of the bunkhouse and half-running through the woods. Jensen wasn’t fit enough to catch him and soon he had vanished into the trees leaving Jensen and his guilt behind him.

Jensen searched for an hour but to no avail. He pulled out his cell and was about to call Misha in a panic when he heard sirens in the distance and his heart froze in his stupid, stubborn chest.

He knew there and then that something had happened and that it was all his fault and he wished that, for once, he had listened to his heart and not his head.

****

“He just came out of nowhere.”

The bus driver looked scared and hassled and his hands were shaking. Jensen felt sick as he stood by the ambulance and watched the paramedics working on Jared. There was blood everywhere but he could only see a smear of it on Jared’s white face, a blanket covering the rest of him, the two paramedics shouting instructions at each other as they bent over Jared’s unmoving body.

“What the hell happened?” Misha put his hand on Jensen’s arm. “What the hell did you say to him to make him run like that?”

“I pushed him away.” Jensen’s mouth was dry and tasted like guilt. “I thought I was doing the right thing. This has all happened so fast and there are so many issues.”

“Don’t think I don’t understand because I do.” Misha glanced over to where the paramedics were working. “I just hoped that . . . .”

Jensen swallowed.

“I know what you hoped and I know what Jared wanted – but I wasn’t sure I could give it to him.”

“I’m sorry,” Misha looked wrecked. The ambulance lights were still flashing and there was urgency in the paramedic’s actions and words. “This is all my fault.”

“No,” Jensen wanted to cry. There was the bitter taste of salt in the back of his throat and the dry taste of guilt on his tongue. “It’s mine.”

****

“I blame myself.”

Sherri Padalecki sat next to Jensen on the uncomfortable plastic chair. The hospital was crowded with people each waiting to hear news whether it was good or bad. Jared’s mom looked awful but most of all she looked guilty and Jensen wondered if there was anyone in this cluster fuck of a situation that wasn’t taking the blame for what had happened to Jared.

“Mrs Padalecki,” Jensen began but Sherri shook her head, shushing him.

“I’ve treated him like a child for far too long,” she said, softly. “Not let him grow up and be the man he wanted to be. I wouldn’t let him do anything always so worried he would be hurt. I knew he was fond of you – he talked about you all the time but you were Megan’s teacher and just a friend as far as I was concerned.” She sighed. “And yet it is so obvious how much he loved you.”

“I let him down.” Jensen could barely look Sherri in the eye. “I turned him away.”

“Because you thought you were doing the right thing.” Sherri wiped her eyes. “Everyone treated him like a child so you started to look at him like a child. Despite everything, he still couldn’t break away. I kept him tied to my apron strings and I was wrong.”

“How is he?” Jensen hadn’t dared ask. The bus had hit Jared as he had run from the woods, ironically, it was the same bus that had been sent to pick them up and take them home. Everything had gone so wrong so fast and Jensen wished he could turn back time.

“He is holding his own.” Sherri wiped at her eyes again. “His dad is with him now, we have been taking turns sitting with him, talking to him. They say it will help him to get better, to come around. He has had some internal bleeding but they aren’t so concerned about that, he hit his head very hard, Jensen.” She began to cry in earnest. “I – what if he has been damaged even more? This is all my fault.”

Jensen stared at the closed door, thinking of Jared behind it, willing him to get better, willing him to be okay. He swore that he would treat Jared better, that he would take him out on a proper date, give him what he wanted and needed. Jared only wanted someone to love and Jensen sought to be that someone. He swore he wouldn’t be shallow anymore, no more playing the field, no more hiding. He was going to be out and proud – if Jared would have him – he was going to make things better.

****

Jared was hooked to various machines and as white as the sheets he lay upon. Jensen sat down beside him and took his hand, curling his fingers around it and squeezing it tightly.

“I think we – maybe – moved too fast but I want to get to know you better.” Jensen swallowed. “So let’s start at the beginning, my name is Jensen Ackles and I’m a teacher. I teach English and I would love to read to you – maybe teach you a few things. I want us to be more than friends, Jared and I want the world to know about it. I think - I think you are the kind of person I could love, hell I know you are the kind of person I could love, so I need you to open your eyes right now and talk to me.”

For a moment, there was silence apart from the bleeping of machines and the sound of the nurses moving around critical care. Then Jared’s eyelids flickered and Jensen found himself staring into cloudy and confused hazel eyes.

“Jensen?” His voice was hoarse. “What happened? Where am I?”

“Long story.” Jensen couldn’t even begin to hold back the tears. He pressed his lips against Jared’s forehead, realizing that he had been given a second chance and damn, was he going to take it.

“You really want to teach me something?” Jared’s smile was weak and tentative but there and Jensen laughed out loud then, tears smearing down his cheeks as he let himself cry.

“Yeah,” he knew he sounded shaky at best but Jared was here and Jared was alive and that was all that really mattered.

“Then I really want to learn,” Jared whispered and Jensen knew that everything was going to be alright.

****

Jensen came out a month before Jared’s **Welcome Home** party.

The room was full of people, members of the basketball team, Misha, Megan, Jared’s brother Jeff and, most importantly, Sherri Padalecki who seemed determined to make up for lost time. 

Jared looked good, tanned and healthy, smart in a blue suit and maroon tie, hair tumbling around his shoulders, just the right amount of stubble. He was still Jensen’s Adonis but now everyone knew it.

Jensen had spent the last few weeks renting an apartment for them both; buying furniture and equipment, making sure they were near both Jensen’s school and the community college where Jared was going to attend. Jensen had filled the apartment with books, determined to teach Jared to read but also determined to read to Jared, let him hear all the classics that Jensen loved, hoping that Jared would learn to love them too.

Jared was so excited; he had finally been allowed to leave home, to move in with Jensen, to be the man he had always wanted to be. Everyone should have someone to love and Jensen was Jared’s someone. They were going to spend the next few weeks, months, years getting to know each other and Jared couldn’t believe it, couldn’t believe how lucky he was.

He was better now; healing from the accident. At the time – after Jensen had turned away from him – he had wanted to die, felt he had no life, no purpose but now he realized that he was important, that his momma had only protected him out of love. Now that love had set him free and he couldn’t stop smiling.

Tomorrow they were going to go to the pound and choose a dog. Jared was going to have a dog at last and it was like a dream come true. Later, when all the guests had gone home Jensen was going to take Jared to bed and start teaching him a few more things. Reading and writing were real good skills to have but there were other things Jared wanted to learn more and his cock twitched a little in his jeans as he thought about them.

Jensen came up behind him and squeezed him tightly. He leaned back and rested his head on Jensen’s broad shoulder, rubbing his nose into Jensen’s neck. Jensen was no longer afraid of people finding out, he had told all the people who mattered, told them he was gay and – more importantly – told them he was in love with Jared.

No one looked at Jared with pity anymore. They saw a grown man who was fit, healthy and happy. A star basketball player who couldn’t wait to get back on the court, a student who was – FINALLY – going to college and best of all they saw Jensen’s boyfriend - _his Adonis_ and Jared would never be lonely again.

He was still special but he was special to Jensen and that made him very, very special indeed.

End


End file.
